She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize