I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
