didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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