He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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