Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
