I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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