last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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