i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
