he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize