...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
