Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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