if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
