i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
this hospital has no fireball
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize