Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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