Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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