Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize