My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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