The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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