just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
