So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
PANTIES FOUND
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
