Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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