I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize