I need help removing her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
