I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
