apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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