quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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