I CAN MOONWALK!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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