that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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