so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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