Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
everyone is single if you try hard enough
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
