just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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