she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
