White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
