you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize