I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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