i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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