My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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