She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
