Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
