Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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