It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
