We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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