i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
