i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My dick has a subreddit
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
