i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
