i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
