I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i out mim tonsoeep
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