: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
