ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize