# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
