NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
