Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
