The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
