Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
