I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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