kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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