You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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