I think I died a long time ago.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
