Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
