I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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